Trying to take my own Advice!!

So Friday is my weigh in day and this morning I was ready to whip my scale across the room. 2 lb gain. WHAT!! You have got to be kidding me. Now with having my sleeve surgery the most calories I have been able to consume in one day is 1200 calories and that is with my treat of coffee and some M&M's (10 of them not a whole bag :) And I am working out 5 days a week burning 800 to 1000 calories a day. Mathmatically it doesn't work out to a 2 lb gain!!! How frustrating!! But instead of getting all depressed about it I told myself to Knock it off and remember how far I have come. I have to remind myself I have lost over 100 lbs, I feel beautiful for the first time in years, I can jog 10 mins straight , I am more confident, I love getting dressed now and I love taking my picture and can now capture so many more moments with my girls and family. These are so much more gratifying then any weight that comes up on my scale. It is hard trying to take your own advice but I am doing a pretty good job at it today!!!! I must stay positive!!!

Losing my Motivation!!

It happens all the time to everyone and I hate it. I am losing my Motivation. The weight loss has slowed and as much as I like to tell myself to stop looking at the #'s and concentrate on how I feel it is easier said then done. I don't know why I am losing the motivation , I can't pin point the exact reason besides the weight loss slowing. Oh and I think too it has something to do with not having a trainer anymore. There was that certain push there that I am not feeling anymore. It sucks but I have to push through this and get back on the saddle. I was doing good and feeling good,  it will return. These past 3 days of not working out hasn't helped either. Saturday slept through alarm , Sunday is my rest day and this morning darnit slept through alarm again. I have to say that sleep needs to be concentrated on again. I need to get to bed earlier and stop getting distracted before bed. Eating has been pretty good had a few lapses of judgement this weekend but nothing horrible. But I have to stop grabbing the sweets and talking myself into why I deserve that cookie. I do deserve a sweet now and then but right now I need to stick to the plan and stop taking side roads. So back to dedicating myself!!! I am going to sign up for a 5k in March or April even if I don't run it all at least I will have something to look forward too and motivate me.

2nd run!

Okay so 2nd run was even better. Hit the one goal I had set and actually ran for 5 mins straight no stopping or walking. I was so proud and honestly couldn't believe it. I was a bit winded but not horrible. I can't wait to run a whole mile. I need to re-do my running play list cause there weren't enough fast songs. Any suggestions of songs is greatly appreciated!! I went to the doctor yesterday for my 7 month follow up, should have been 6 but they didn't have a nutritional class last month. It went well found out my iron was low so I have to take an iron pill now but other than that all numbers looked good. Had the nutritional class too. I always get really motivated after that. Its exciting to see everyone and there progress. However alot of people weren't there that I wanted to see. Okay so 7 months out and my mind is aggrevating me, I have been feeling like this is it my weight loss is done. I won't see any lower #'s. I know I have more to lose and I know I can lose more but mentally I can not see or imagine myself lower on the scale and smaller. My thoughts are all distorted and playing games with me. I know it is because it has been over 15 yrs since I have been this small and not believable to me that I can get even smaller. It is all head games and they suck. I can't believe it has been 7 months already. Time flies!

Running after Injury! and GOALS!!!

Yay! Today was my first run/walk since my broken foot and it went awesome. I can actually say I ran, cause I did 5 mph, 5.5 mph and 6.0 mph. Haven't ran at that pace in forever. I wanted to push myself a bit but not too hard cause I am worried about re-injuring my foot. It felt great. I warmed up 5 mins and then ran 2 mins, walked 2 mins for 38 mins. My first mile I did at 15:22 , second mile 14:40. I was sweating like crazy but not dying from not breathing, I was surprised at myself. I am only going to run 2x's this week and then add a day next week. I don't want to over do it. Baby steps!! I did work out both Saturday and Sunday this weekend. I missed too many days last week not too. I found this training session workout with Dolvette from Biggest loser on Skyfitsports.com and down loaded them to my phone. There is one on elliptical, treadmill and outdoor run. I did the elliptical one both Saturday and Sunday and it was fun. It is hard not to make fun of him talking while I am working out but it really did motivate me to push myself harder. I will have to build myself up to the treadmill one cause he has you going 6mph, 7mph and all the way up to 8.5 mph and I know I am not there yet. My goal right now is to be able to run 5 mins straight no stopping. I still haven't signed up for any 5k's yet. I will soon enough I think I have been a little nervous. It is funny how you hurt yourself and then it takes you a while to get back on the horse. I was considering one on St.Patrick's day but I still think that is too early so I will find one in April or just wait until May when I have 3 in a row. So my second goal right now is to lose 14 lbs by April 4th. 7 weeks ! I know I can do it and that will get me to under 200 lbs which will be AWESOME!!! So excited for that! 

Feeling Confident and Pretty today!!

It has been a while since I could say "I feel pretty" , it is amazing how that feels. Confidence is there too and it has been missed. Everyone should feel this way every day. I haven't dropped a huge amount of weight lately but I have finally started to realize that it isn't so much about the weight but about how you feel. I started in a size 28 jeans and today I am wearing a size 18 to work. Unbelievable!!! I haven't been in 18 since 1998. It is all of this that is so rewarding!!!
So an update on the moving, not happening. We are going to take the landlord up on the $200 reduction for the year and $50 increase each year after that. I am very happy about that and this will help us get out of our financial rut and start going for our ultimate goal of our own house again.
I didn't workout this morning :/ I had my alarm going off for 30 mins just hit it off and rolled over. I guess I needed some extra sleep. I will be in both days this weekend to make up for it. I did my legs yesterday and surprised myself when I got up this morning and my legs are sore. I sometimes feel like I don't push myself hard enough but I felt the push this morning in my tush!!! LOL

Everyday Stresses!

So even more decisions to stress me out. We are contemplating moving to a cheaper place but not sure if we should. It will be saving us $400 a month but it is much smaller and not in the same school district. I really don't want to move my eldest daughter to a different school again. I am not too worried about the youngest she has that personality where she can get a long with anyone. I also have so much shit still from our old house piled up in storage and would have no place for it anymore. I would have to get rid of a cat and thats not so bad but it still sad to me. I have been beating myself up over this and today let the landlord know and he flipped out!!!! Not going to let us move he said. I will take the rent down $200 for the next year ........ OMG!!!! I wasn't expecting that at all. Now what to do!! I have been sick this week and feeling like crap. I didn't workout yesterday or today, I had to give blood this morning so I had to fast and on Tuesday I woke up feeling like my head was going to explode. Why does this have to happen right before my appointment with the surgeon. I wanted to crank it out this week with exercising so I could drop a few before the appointment but doesn't look like that is going to happen. Well I am not eating as much cause of being sick so maybe that will equal things out. I hope I start feeling better quickly. I 'm ready for spring I want to go for walks with the girls and enjoy the outdoors again.

Decisions Suck !

So I have decided not to have a trainer anymore. My husband and I have been trying really hard to get our finances in order so we can start saving and not be living paycheck to paycheck anymore. Unfortunately that means some cut backs on the extra spending. It sucks because I have really learned a lot and my trainer is awesome but we have to do what we have to do. I am confident I can take what I was taught and continue doing good. I just get nervous not having that accountability aspect there anymore. Where is that dang money tree when you need it?
I have been doing really good with my food this week, I started slacking again last week and eating a little carbs here and there and it really affects the scale. I am PMSing right now so chocolate is all I want and it sucks oh and salty. I got a bag of pork rinds to fix that craving but all that sodium is no good and makes me retain water even more. Well I guess that is the joys of being a woman. LOL
I have my 6 month check up on the 19th of this month and am looking forward to seeing the doctor and asking some questions. I also have a nutritional class which is always informative.
Counseling started on Wednesday and went very well and I really look forward to it every week. Our counselor specializes in bariatric patients so it is very nice. I for see great things with this.