2 lb weight gain!!! Yikes!!

Well Fridays are my weigh in days and today unfortunately I gained 2 lbs. First time gaining since Last December so it was a little downer but I am feeling better. I always say to not dwell on things and so I am going to take my own advice. I just wanted to share that even with surgery you can gain and you can mess up and you just have to learn from it and move on. I know I have been eating crap and carbs so I know what I need to do to get back on track. I found myself this morning at the gym bored as hell on the bike during my workout. I am hoping that my foot is healing and on the 2nd I get some good news and can at least start on the Elliptical again cause this is getting old real fast. I am suppose to start back with Zumba on the 11th and will be so upset if I can't. I love Zumba. So much fun and something I can do with the girls that is active. I am looking forward to today being over because I go on vacation for 11 days no work. Awesome!!! I can't wait time to organize at home clean out the junk in my cabinets and go shopping and spend some quality time with my babies!! I miss them so much through out the year. It is not easy being a mom and working full time. I get about 3.5 hours with them each day and It just isn't enough. I swear they grew up way too fast. This is why I get up at 4:30 almost every morning to go workout because I am not taking time away from them I can workout with no guilt and love that. And they get the best me in the morning and at night, well most of the time. It isn't easy balancing everything but I do my best and hope along the way I am not neglecting anyone.

Holidays & New Years Resolutions!

So the holidays are over. I made it but not happy with how I handled myself. Thanksgiving was actually worse than Christmas. I know I ate way too much of the bad stuff but I continued to exercise so I didn't gain anything but still feel pretty horrible. Out of 3 feast of nights I only got sick to my stomach one of them by eating too much. The other 2 nights I just used the cardinal rule- PROTEIN FIRST and didn't end up eating too much after that. The ham and turkey on Christmas was so good I really didn't want any of the bad stuff after that. So I have brushed myself off and am starting to crack down now. Today is a new day and I will not dwell on what is in the past!! I actually woke up this morning and went to workout on very little sleep but did it and feel pretty good about that. It did help knowing my Trainer would be there. I am not too sure I would have gone otherwise. It is nice having to be accountable to someone instead of just yourself. This is one thing that has helped me through this winter so far. Thankfully we don't do anything huge for New Years! It is my daughters 10th birthday this year so we may go out for dinner or do something like that but I always order salmon or something healthy when we eat out. It isn't hard for me to eat out healthy! That is one thing I have gotten really good at. So the fun of the New Year's and all the resolutions people make. I know the one I have had for the last 13 yrs has been lose weight. Well 2013 has been successful with that one. So here goes my list of New Year's Resolutions/ Goals list
1. Volunteer this year
2. Run in 5 5k's
3. Start and stay on budget
4. Go to Great America
5. Plan a date night 1x a month
6. Get more involved in the girls School
7. Karaoke Night

5 months Out and Odd's and Ends

So even with my foot I have been able to ride the bike at the gym and keep doing my weights. Today I really cranked it out on the Bike and was sweating just as much as if I was on the Elliptical. I did HIIT on the bike did 60 rpms and then up to 100 rpms and so forth. Did that for 45 mins. I refuse to give up and make this stall me in weight loss and progressing further. I am determined to get these last 4 lbs off before January 1st. So that I can say I lost 100 lbs in 2013!!!! I can do it!!
I am getting a little bored with my eating. I pretty much eat the same things every week and I am needing some new ideas. Right now my breakfast is a protein drink, snack in morning is almonds, lunch is turkey burger w/cheese, snack in afternoon is cheese stick and hummus or edamame, dinner is meat and veggies, sometimes night time snack not all the time and it will be edamame or cheese stick. I haven't really added fruit in because when i did i stopped losing the weight like before. I also stopped sneaking carbs. I was finding myself slipping too much.
Monday is my 5 month surgeryversary I can't believe 5 months have gone by. It has been a whirl wind of a time. I have learned alot about myself in these past 5 months. I definately have an issue with emotional eating and have mourned some of my most famous foods that I would indulge in. I have also learned that this process isn't easy for my husband either and I have to be open minded about what he is going threw at this time too. I still have issues with stopping myself from eating when I feel full. I don't know if it is because I still can't tell when Im full or that I just don't want the good food to end. It is a battle I am working on to fix. As of Friday I have lost 61 lbs since surgery and a grand total of 96 lbs total. Only 23 lbs away from under 200 which I never thought I'd see again in my life time. I can't wait. I feel great and know that with every lb gone I will feel even better. Can't wait to see what the next 5 months bring!!!

Injury worse than I thought!

Well wasn't turf toe like I thought. I actually broke a bone in my foot!! WTH I guess thats what I get for thinking I was Wonder Woman and skinny already. I guess my foot couldn't handle all this !!! Just kidding I definately think new shoes are in order and some extra foot support. I refuse to stop I still want to hit 5 5k's this year and maybe a 10K. But it's now based on how my feet handle it. Silly feet. So now I am in a special shoe and will be for a while. Great. But I went to the gym today and tried the bicycle and was able to fit the shoe in the strap so it will now be my mode of cardio for a while. But I really need to find something to help with my butt hurting so bad. Before I had so much padding it never hurt when on the bike , now I am in pain within 15 mins. No fun!! Hoping it gets use to it and just toughens up... Did my weights too so I still have those two. I have got back on track with eating this week and lost 2 lbs. Time to get serious again NO MORE EXCUSES!!! Things with the hubby have gotten better a few rough weeks but we have passed those and gotten stronger. He has officially lost 35 lbs since October and I am so proud of him. Working out still with the Trainer and things are going good. Thank god I have him right now because I would think I couldn't do anything and I would sit at home all depressed. Christmas is almost here and I am stressed . I still haven't started shopping and have to do it this weekend in snow storms. Great!!! Well looking forward to my vacation in a week! Can't wait!!

Injuries!!

The joys of injuries. The good news is my knee is back to normal the bad news is my big toe on my left foot is so painful right now. And yesterday my right ankle started to bug me. It is the price I am paying for having crappy gym shoes. The toe is the worst having a really hard time walking on it. I have a doctors appt on Wednesday so we shall see what is up. I got some sports tape so I can wrap my big toe and see if that helps. I am a big advocate of WebMD symptom checker and it seems that I may have Turf Toe. It is where you hyper extend the ligament in the toe from usually running or extreme sports. I noticed a little pain in it while training for the 5k and ever since the 5k it has been getting worse. No good!! Everytime before I would get injured and then fall back into my trap of over eating and emotional eating. This is why I am so happy I had the sleeve done because it is not possible to do that. My stomach wont let me eat that way anymore. I have to stay positive and break through this another reason I am so happy i have a trainer too. Because he will know what I can still do with these injuries so I don't have to neccessarily stop all together. Weighed in this morning and have lost 2 lbs this week putting me at 225. I was surprised cause this week exercise has been lacking and eating has been off a little. But I am so happy and I am now 7 lbs away from 100 lbs gone forever. And my new tattoo!!!

First 5K - Thanksgiving day !

Completed my first 5K on Thanksgiving!!! I did it in 47mins which I am so very proud of. It was called the Pie run so it was actually 3.14 miles. I got 2 pies after the race so that was pretty cool. I went with my Cousin Jessica and my trainer Vance. Trainer did it in less then 30 mins , I hope someday that will be me. I love to Run. I forgot how much until the race. I remember running so much in highschool and I can't wait to lose more weight because it is just going to make it easy.  It was very cold so after the finish my lungs were burning and I started coughing like I was smoking again. It was only for a little while after so that was good it didn't last longer. My right knee is killing me today. I had torn my ACL back in 1997 and had surgery so I was expecting some pain but this pain is a little worse then when I was training. I will give it a few days of recupurating before worrying too much . I may wear a knee brace next race. I am contemplating doing a 5k in January we shall see. Training with my Trainer is going very well. I think this month is going to be slow on losing weight. The past two weeks I have lost 1 lb each week and I was use to 3 lbs a week. But in all honesty I am still happy with 1 lb. Hoping my knee starts feeling better soon.

1 month down with Personal Trainer!!!SUCCESS!!!

Weighed in with the Trainer on Saturday and have lost 14 lbs since I started on 10/17. I have lost an inch in my chest, waist and hips!!! Whoa!!! So happy!!! I know part of it is my eating and WLS but not all of that baby. they say average of maybe 10lbs lost per month at this point and I am superseding that because of my trainer. Plus I have muscles I haven't seen in years and I feel pretty damn good. I can't wait to see 199 again. And for the first time in 15 years I believe I will see it again. I am having some issues with the hubby keeping up with the weight loss. He has definately been a bit more jealous and protective then I have ever seen him. It feels nice but not nice too. I know this is all part of the journey and I just keep reassuring him that he is my one and only. He has been trying to lose weight too and has done awesome, he has lost 20 lbs since October and that is so good. I think he was hoping for more but I keep reassuring him that down is better then up..... no matter how much is lost. My wedding ring is so loose on me now that I am starting to get worried it is going to fall off. Time to get some insurance on it just in case. Today was a training session on my arms and holy cow are they sore tonight!!! Love it!!! Really excited for my 5k on Turkey day!! I can't wait to see my time , I hope it is as good as I think it will be. I can jog and not have my knees killing me. I love it. Food wise things are going good, I have had somethings I should be staying away from but not bingeing like i use too and just able to have a handful and move on. That is such a great benefit to this surgery.

Personal Trainer

Let me just say I love my Personal Trainer. He is kicking my butt and pushing me. I am doing things I never thought I would be able to do and feeling awesome. I went on 10/12 for my free session signed up with him on 10/17 and have been seeing him every Monday and Thursday. So- 4 real sessions under my belt. I have learned I hate Burpee's and Bear Crawls but I have also learned how good they are for me. So it is a love/hate relationship. I think he was a little easy on me the first week cause he really pushed me hard on Monday. I was literally feeling like my chest was going to pop. It was only for a few mins but I didn't die and I made it through and felt damn good.
I have officially become addicted to exercise. I didn't go yesterday and felt crappy all day. There is no excuse for me not to go to bed early and get up early to workout. Now that being said when is it too much? When does it turn into a bad thing? I should be happy my addiction has moved from food to exercise but I get worried. Maybe I am thinking too much about it and need to do what feels good and stop worrying. Thats what I am going to do stop worrying and just do what feels good.
This morning I took a look at myself in the mirror for the first time in years and actually felt pretty damn proud of what my body looks like right now. It is no where near my goal but I can only imagine how I will feel then. I can see and feel bones I haven't in a long time and it is so exciting for me. It is unbelieveable . I really didn't think Id notice so soon. I figured it was going to take my brain a lot longer to catch up. I swear during that first week after surgery I was cursing myself for doing this and now I wouldnt change my decision for 10 bad weeks. It was the best decision I could have made. My 2nd best decision was hiring my personal trainer. Honestly every other trainer I have done the free sessions with have annoyed me and just didn't listen to me and what I wanted. He did and is very down to earth and not a snob... I finally have been taught how to do a proper squat and lunge to where my knees aren't swollen and painful the next day. Anyway I will post back soon !!! And I forgot the #'s I weighed myself this morning and weighed in at 236. Oh yeah baby!!! 82 lbs since I started this journey and 47 lbs since surgery 3 months and 1 week ago... I am so pleased.

3 months post op

I can't believe it has been 3 months already. Time has flown right by. I am 242 lbs and have lost 41 lbs since surgery and 76 since I began this journey. I have almost completely stopped emotional eating , I still have a moment once a month -damn period! But for the most part it is gone. I replaced it with exercise. If I have an urge I will pop in a video or hop on the treadmill before thinking twice.  Even if it is only a 20 min workout by the end I no longer want what I was going for. I still eat protein, eggs and cheese. I have now added in vegtables 1/2 cup cooked a day and starting next week I can add a 1/2 cup of fruit back a day. I don't eat veggies everyday. Some days I just don't want them. I started my gym membership this month and boy did I need it. I was getting so bored. I also signed up with a personal trainer this week. I am so excited for this next chapter in my life. To be healthy and a good role model for my two beautiful daughters.

7 Weeks Post Op!!! VSG

I am doing great!!! First of all my surgery was on 7/22/13. I had the Vertical Sleeve done and also 2 hernia repairs. The first week was the worst but as the weeks went on It got better. Day 2 after surgery was awful. I was nauseous and in so much pain I didn't want to move. I felt so bad because this was the day everyone wanted to come up and visit me and I just didn't want visitors. I did a little regretting that day but none ever since that day. I was off work for 2 weeks and went back part time for the 3rd week. By week 4 I was great and able to work full time again. Lets start with my #'s: SW: 318 12/12, SW: 283 7/13, CW: 257 9/13 I have lost 26 lbs since surgery and a Total of 61 lbs since I began this journey. I honestly have to say I am so happy I got this done. I know that some people say its the easy way out but it is not . I am working just as hard if not harder since surgery. I cant just sit around and slack off thinking the lbs will just shed off. It doesn't work that way. I eat between 600-1000 calories a day. I noticed that the days I work out I eat more. I can eat about 3 to 4 oz of protein at a time and feel full for at least 5 hours. I don't have the hunger like I use to and I have begun learning how to control my urges to eat. I am retraining myself and I love it. I do get tired a bit more easily now but its nothing a few extra hours of sleep can't fix. I have been working out (walking and aerobics) between 4-6 days a week for at least 30 mins but most of the time it is almost an hour. I can't wait to start at the gym again and switch up some stuff cause I am getting a little bored. Food wise I am still only allowed Meat, Cheese and Eggs. Next week I can start adding a 1/2 of cup of non-starchy veggies to one meal a day. Looking forward to that. No fruit for a bit and no milk. I have "cheated" once or twice but in moderation. It hasn't been anything horrible just a cookie or chip. I went to my first support group meeting and after that I stopped cheating. It really kick me in the butt and I was able to get back on the straight and narrow again.

Been a While !!! Alot has happened!!

Wow reading those old posts reconfirms my decision this past 6 months. I have decided to have Weight Loss Surgery. Dec 10th was the beginning of this journey. Met with a surgeon went over my choices and chose to have surgery. I am having Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) on July 22nd.
When I started in December I weighed 318 these past 6 months I have been eating a doctor supervised diet consisting of 6 small meals a day each meal must have a protein in it. Exercising about 3 to 6 days a week about 30 mins at a time.  I am now down to 297!! I went through all the ropes to get approved through my insurance , pschy evaulation , sleep apnea testing- I have severe sleep apnea , cardiologist screening etc... And 6 months of doctor visits. If your not familiar with VSG the doctor will be taking out 80% of my stomach along with that the hormone ghrelin which is what makes you feel hungry. I will have to retrain myself to eat and eventually be able to eat about 1000 to 1200 calories a day. Everyone says the 1st month is the hardest due to the restrictions on food and your body feeling warn down. I am preparing myself for that now. Family has been pretty supportive, they still question me and ask why so drastic and all i can tell them is that I feel it in my heart that this is what I need to do. To be healthy and active. I feel if I continue to let myself be this way I will not live to see my daughters get married. I am having a mixed amount of emotions right now myself , I go from being excited to nervous to anxious to doubting all in a week. But I figure this is normal when you are making such a big decision in your life.