Back and Forth....Positive/Negative

Wow I am beginning to torture myself. LOL I will be positive for a few days and then be hit with a swarm of Negative. I am driving myself nuts. I wish I had brain surgery at the same time as my sleeve. Cause this is so hard. I feel like my devil and angel on my shoulder are working overtime right now. I haven't worked out in 4 days and I feel it has alot to do with what is going on in my head. I set my alarm Sat and let it go off until I shut it off, I set my alarm Monday and turned that sucker off right away and that was because I was up till Midnight , and again I set my alarm Tuesday and snozzed it until snooze wasn't an option anymore and it just shut off. I need something to get me motivated again. To get me back on track , to help me out of this rut. I signed me and my husband up for a 5K at the end of the month thinking that would do it and naw not really. Don't get me wrong I am excited about it but it isn't making me get up in the mornings. I don't know anymore. I just need to stop screwing around and JUST DO IT!!! I am not threw with this journey I am not to my goal yet. Something has to give!!!