So easy to get Lazy!!!

Why is it so easy to get Lazy!! I hate it, it isn't just your body that gets lazy it's your mind too. You stop pushing you stop giving yourself pep talks .... You pretty much shut down!!! I hate it and no matter how hard I try to turn it around I can't. I know its because I can't workout hard and it is so frustrating and I am so impatient and Im going NUTS!!! I am starting to make excuses again and finding myself vegging in front of the television with food at night and I hate myself for falling!!! I tell myself todays a new day start fresh and then something stresses me out and because I can't turn to exercise right now I am turning to my freaking fridge or cabinents. It is a never ending cycle and I need to forge through it. I know this is only temporary but damn not being able to do what I use to is taking its toll on me. I am frustrated with myself because I thought I was stronger then this.
I started physical therapy last week and it is fine but I don't sweat which makes me feel like Im doing nothing. I do feel my knee is getting stronger and it isn't as painful as it use to be. so that is good news. But with that I catch myself thinking shit it feels better I am going to run this weekend in my 5K. NOOOOOO I know I cant because I will probably reverse all the good Ive done so far. Again I want to pull my hair out. I haven't been going to the gym because I am afraid I will push myself too hard because I think I can go farther and then end up messing something up. I do have to say that my trainer really worked me out good last Thursday and we did nothing with the legs. So I know thats good but can't see him every day!!! Plus my stupid gym closed down so I have to drive a little further now and I find myself saying it isn't worth it cause I all I can do is the treadmill walking , now that I am typing this I realize how stupid of me.... WALKING IS BETTER THAN NOTHING!!! See this is why I like to blog because I always get AHA moments while I type and think. LOL  So my thoughts for now is that who cares if it is only walking ..... time to get my ass in gear!!! I do have the Girls on the Run 5k on Saturday with Kaylee and I am looking forward to that. I will walk it and hope I can control myself from running. I am going to clean out my drawers at work and at  home to get rid of all the crap again and stock back up with fruits and veggies more. I can do this , just a bump in my journey..... Time to turn it around!!!